Top 6 - Andrew Lloyd Weber Tunes

Andrew Lloyd Webber night....hm...should be exciting, though I do wish they opened up the theme to be Broadway in general...but hey, ALW is good enough I guess. I don't know why people are always hating on him, but I like "Phantom of the Opera" and all those other musicals he wrote. Well...here we go...


David Archuleta- So the intro videos tonight consist of the Idols meeting ALW (who is quite mole-ish) on some huge-ass stage in the middle of an auditorium. It kind of looks like where they always have the season finale of the show and where Kelly Clarkson recorded her crappy video for "A Moment Like This". Anyway puppet David bounces out on stage and ALW informs us that he will be singing "Think Of Me" from "Phantom of the Opera". That song seriously kicks ass. Originally sung by Sarah Brightman in the original cast, ALW says that the song is meant for a diva. It's completely apparent that ALW isn't too thrilled about David singing this, considering that he says seriously like four times in one sentence how he can't imagine a boy attempting it. David is all like "I'm scared all the time, but I'm cute, and I'm singing the song differently and stuff," and ALW is like "well, I never thought I'd hear something like THAT in all my life" and then he punches him in the face. Then comes the first of many critical comments encased in a snide delivery: He says he has two bits of advice for David...1. open his eyes, and 2. open his eyes. Ha. David laughs and says that he doesn't want to open his eyes! Yeah! ALW says that "little David" has a real "musical soul" to him, or some crap and then says that he just must keep his eyes open. ALW couldn't possibly watch someone sing with CLOSED EYES!?! "Are you crazy? How can you watch someone with closed eyes?!?!?!?...like, I don't know what backwards-ass Podunk town you grew up in...but here, in L.A. we sing with our eyes OPEN. Thank you indeed."

I am excited to see David sing this, mainly to see if he does the awesome high-notes and scales at the end of the song, which I know he won't, but I still build myself up to believe he will attempt. I immediately have mixed feelings about the song. There is an acoustic guitar player strumming along and the beat that David starts singing on makes the song sound less like an Andrew Lloyd Weber tune, and more like some sort of gentle-urban-boy-band-ballad-with-Latino-roots. He is wearing a confusing get-up consisting of khakis, a short white button-down, a thin black tie and a homeless man's jacket. I love how they try to dress the little Muppet up in these clothes as if it won't make him like ten anymore. He does some nice ad libs to some lines...extends notes, throws in some cute runs...it's nice. Getting over the fact that I feel like his arrangement of the song pales in comparison to the awesomeness of how the original was sung, he does add some sweet soul charm to it that I think more or less works for him. And good work ALW in stapling Archie's eyes open...they are quite beautiful. He looks a little frozen in his tracks. To his left there is this funny little conductor men bouncing up and down and his position on the stage is completely unnecessary, but they pimp him out there anyway because it's BROADWAY!!!! Then David more or less flubs a line, but wisely (or luckily?) his voice goes low so it sounds more like he is just hitting some indistinguishable notes as opposed to butchering the lyrics (oh...that will come later...mwuahahahaha). Then David throws in some words that seriously never show up in the original song ("Think of me, no matter what I choose to doo-oooo-ooooo")...then there's the build-up for the awesome high-pitch scales and of course he doesn't do it, but instead does some belting runs and it's cool I guess.

The audience claps like seals and we see ALW in the audience (not at the judge's table?!?!) and he looks terrifying and pissed. Randy thinks that he can sing anything (even the phonebook!?!?). He liked the soul infusion he injected into the song...he says David's "the one to beat". Blah blah. Paula thinks it's perfect...he took a risk and she loved that she turned it into a pop ballad. I don't, but he still sang well. Simon thought it was pleasant...one of his weaker performances though. I can concur to that. He'll be safe, but it was slightly forgettable, I hear ya Simon.

My Grade: B+


David Cook- He will be singing "Music of the Night" which is like the calling card for "Phantom of the Opera". He grew up doing musical theater...so blah blah. ALW starts to come onto Cook and is all like...this song is sexy...NOW SING IT TO ME! It's vaguely creepy and Cook is beyond skeeved out. ALW then tells Cook to have sex with underage girls and Cook's all like...what? Cook admits that "staring longingly" into ALW's eye wasn't the most comfortable of situations and ALW thinks that if he "comes out of himself" it MIGHT work. Gee...don't be too confident in him, ALW...ha.

Cook is wearing what looks to be baggy pajamas and an ugly coat. His voice right from the get-go irritates me slightly. Whereas Archuleta sang the song a little too differently, Cook is singing this just how the Phantom does. Even his voice sounds different tonight...like he is trying to make it sound like Gerard Butler from the movie. I dunno...I openly admit that I am overly critical of him. He hits the big note in the middle dead-on and makes that weird wind-blown face. It's weird to see David singing a slow song like this without a guitar or any of the usual get-up he brings along with his performances. A little boring, I still think he sang it well. Especially when he says "music that [pause] I write". mmm...good! He belts at the end and throws his goofy rocker thing in there.

Randy thought it was "amazing" and "unbelievable" which I think is going a little far. It was a "molten-hot-lava-bomb" to be specific...thanks Randy. Paula thinks he has a great "instrument"...haha skank. Simon hates this goofy fake side of David (isn't that every side?) but thinks that he did the best that he could do with it. Then Ryan sings and it's not as terrible as one may think. Blah.

My Grade: B


Syesha (super)Mercado- So she will be singing some song I've never heard before..."One Rock & Roll Too Many"??? No idea, but after hearing her just sing the title of the song...I'm in love. She tells us that she LOVES Broadway and glitz and the delicious flamboyancy of it all. She asks ALW if she should be "animated and stuff" with her performance and he's all like "duh". She then snaps back and is like "well...this is American Idol...not Broadway, you hack," and he asks her to shut the fuck up and then sing both versions. The American Idol version is boring and lame and uninteresting and of course, the Broadway version is stellar and ALW is all like "choose the latter."ALW actually looks really excited and thinks that Syesha is gonna rock this bitch and make it funny and lively and witty and engaging...all things that American has been missing this season. You know...side note...if they kept David Hernandez, you would have had the sassy spice...but America sucks and would rather keep Kristy Lee Cook around to must up the place. Boo!

I digress though...Syesha starts what will soon become one of my fav Idol performances EVER on top of a piano. Her back is to the camera and all we see is her silhouette. Like a scene from "Chicago" she casually starts snapping her fingers before singing and then she does this sexy little spin and BAM! Wow...she looks flawlessly gorgeous. Like a prom night Rihanna, her hair is slicked down and her ta-tas are popping out of that sweet little dress she's working like a model. Mmmm....maybe she won't be boring this week! She makes these cute little faces and puts her hands up and is animated and wonderful. It reminds me of Kelly Clarkson's "Stuff Like That There" from first season, where she got all dolled up and really worked the song. Unlike some other contestants, Syesha isn't just singing some stupid ALW song...she is really performing it. She then gets on her knees and slides off the piano, which I was wondering how she was gonna handle considering her dress is mad short and uh...she can't stay on the piano all performance. Her tone is jazzy and sexy and she has these wonderful little belts every now and then. She twists and shimmies and shakes and flirts with the conductor and homeless guitar place. There is an awesome key change with tinkering piano and it is all too much for me to handle. AHHHHHHHH! By far my favorite performance this entire season!

Randy is smiling like a perv and thinks that she could be a Broadway star and that it was her best performance so far. Paula thinks that this is a "big part of her love" and that this is her "happy place"...uh...huh...Paula, we're not five. And we're not retarded. We are not retarded five-year-olds. Simon thought it was steamy and hot but not slutty. He thinks it's one of her strongest performances and then she grimaces for some reason. Paula starts to say something and the music cuts her off...she then flirts with the conductor...shut up! Talk more about how perfect Syesha was!

My Grade: A+


Jason Castro- Song Jason will be singing "Memory" which, I think considering Jason's singing style is seriously the only song from ALW's cataloge that would fitting for him. It's quiet...it's kind of weak...it's not too difficult. ALW starts laughing at him...haha. He tries to explain the context of the song to Castro...it's about cats singing for some reason...confusing enough as it is, but throw in Castro's perpetual state of being high and no one knows what's going. ALW is a queen and starts to 2nd guess Castro's intelligence and it's funny. He thinks Jason has made a very brave (aka stupid) choice to sing this song and he admits that he doubts Castro heard a single thing he said. Ha. Castro reveals that he's mad nervous...AW!

For once he isn't wearing women's blazers and is actually wearing a man's suit. He has on the tightest pants in the entire world. His voice is really whispery...like always. But it also has very little emotion behind it. I think that this is the first weeks where he is COMPLETELY out of his element...and it shows. He seems to over-think the performance and his voice just sounds shaky and vapid. He fails at the low notes. And he knows it's going down in flames. When he hits some higher notes, it sounds fragile and semi-decent, but all in all, this is a complete disaster. He looks constipated as well...like in pain, and it is too awkward and weird for me to handle.

He knows he's effed as he steps up to the judges. Randy thinks that it was a "trainwreck"...but likes that he has dreads? He sees him singing a Jack Johnson song better...Randy...it's Andrew Lloyd Weber week. Not Jack Johnson week. What's the point with this comment? Paula agrees and like she always does when she wants to say something critical, she starts blabbering about nothing. She says that everyone is used to hearing this song sung by a female balladeer and that since he isn't one, it didn't work. Okay Paula, but then how was Archuleta able to do it on a song that is five times more difficult than "Memory"??? She then turns it into a backhanded compliment that "further identifies his unique being"...what? She thinks it sounded like "You Are So Beautiful" and no one agrees with him. It was the longest two-minutes of Simon's life. He compares it to a forced wedding performance. Everyone was miserable and unhappy and that it was a struggle. And Castro never argues once.

My Grade: D+


Carly Smithson- So in an interesting bit of song choice...she will be singing "Jesus Christ Superstar". At first, she was gonna be singing "All I Ask Of You" from Phantom, but then ALW shot her down. And good thing...he thinks that because she has a "big chest voice" (heh) and that she should do something a little less wimpy. Ha. Good call. He loves Carly and her Irish eyes and let's get this shit on the road!

She comes out wearing some weird rug as a dress that I really don't dig. The horns start things up and Carly busts out with her brassy belting and she is dead-on for most of the song. She over-hits some of the notes and they make me cringe a little bit. All in all though...it's really good. During the chorus, the back-up singers sing the melody and she sings every other note and it's really awesome. There are hippy lights flashing all over the place and it's a flashy, glammy utopia. She belts real big at the end and it's good to see her really on point.

Randy thinks that it was good and that he loves her doormat outfit. Paula thought it was unexpected. She was a little nervous that it would be too high for her...and I'm like...Paula, you know nothing about music. Simon thought that even though it was quite screechy in some places, that it was one of his favorite performances of the night. Carly flips a shit cuz for once the judges are targeting her with heat-seeking missiles. She runs off stage and comes back with this shirt that reads "Simon Loves Me (This Week)" and it's cute and I still am kind of in love with Carly. Mmmmm...

My Grade: B


Brooke White- She will be singing one of my favorite movie songs ever! "You Must Love Me" written for the "Evita" movie is an absolutely beautiful (and heart-breaking) song and she better not mess it up...she meets ALW and looks really pretty. ALW thinks she sounds phony and tries to tell her about the story of the song and how depressing it is. Basically he wants to rain on her parade and make her sad and hate life. He thinks she could be a great actress or something. I dunno.

Ok...so here we go. The performance starts and she gets two lines into it. She then flubs some lyrics (barely though...like I wouldn't have even noticed) and she stops cold in her tracks and says sorry and signals the conductor to start again. It's awkward and very uncomfortable and when the song restarts, it doesn't get much better. Like, her voice is okay, but she just seems shaken and off her center. I remember her being such a confident performer, but recently, she's been getting so nervous. She lacks the power of her voice that she had earlier this season. She doesn't really handle the low notes well and she looks kind of clueless on stage. It's a shame, cuz I love this song and I think that if she was a little more focused, so could have totally brought it home. Not to pull a Paula, but she does look very pretty. She stands up near the end and holds her arm up in the air and it's rigid and weird.

Randy thought that it wasn't that good. He thought that she believed in what she was singing, which is good. Paula tries to pretend she's a real musician and is all like "you must never start and stop" and I'm like...what? Who are you to say that. If she wasn't comfortable, who cares if she starts over...it's better than continuing to mess up because you are so caught up on a bum note or effed um line. Paula then starts blabbering about her ability to pick up her pieces and that she didn't overact and that she appreciated how genuine her emotions were. Simon loved how dramatic it was but that it totally threw her out of her zone of confidence. He thinks Paula is wrong and that it was wise of her to stop and restart the song. Haha...then Randy chimes in and they both say that Paula is stupid. heheheh. It's true.

My Grade: C


Safe?

- David Archuleta cuz he's a CuTiE!!!!111!!!11!
- Syesha superMercado for delivering the best performance this season!

In Danger?

- Brooke White for flubbing lyrics and restarting and being scared crapless.
- Castro, opposite of Syesha, for delivering one of the worst perfomances this season