Top 16 - Gals

So after the guys delivered the goods last night, it's time for the ladies to step it up.


Asia'h Epperson- One time Asia'h was an on extra on a movie...and like, she got SOOO embarrassed cuz she roller skated into a set light something. Ouch!

So after she was told that she wasn't a good enough singer to sing Celine Dion last week, what will she be singing tonight? Whitney ("I Wanna Dance With Somebody")? What the hell. If you can't sing "All By Myself" what makes you think you can take on Whitney Houston and not not mediocre? Well, to her defense, she does a pretty decent job. The up-beat tempo does her good and she has fun and dances is around stage. She still has that off-putting lisp and she's wearing way to much jewelery and the crotch of her pants go on forever, but she belts pretty nicely at the end and delivers a solid performance...light years ahead of the disaster that was last week's performance.

She smiles cutely at the judges and Randy tells her that, get this, he recorded that song with Whitney! Wow. He calls it a "tall order" for her to take on, but she worked it out and it was "hot." Paula was concerned that she picked such a big song. She starts blathering about her being sick...or something. Simon thought it was a 2nd rate performance. Asia'h acts cute and says that she'll be a 2nd rate Whitney, she don't care...mmmmhhmmmm. He also thought she wasn't able to hit all the right notes, but that she is still better than others (aka Katy) and that she will make it into the top 12.

My Grade: B


Kady Malloy- This year's Haley Scarnato was performing at a talent show and she was singing that Christina Aguilera song "Beautiful" (which she ruined...ha!) and then she tripped over some cords and the entire world came crashing down around her in front of the entire audience. HAHA! Not only is that hilarious, but I really really really like Kady's personality...on her videos. She seems kind of goofy and funny and I really wish she was as much fun on stage.

I don't know what she is singing, but like every other song she has picked to butcher, it's boring weird and doesn't go anywhere. Her tone is nice...it's really deep and engaging, but she just has one hell of a fucking time staying on any sort of key whatsoever. Maybe it's nerves, but her voice just goes all over the place. It starts to sound really droning and it's painful and at some shots she looks likes Scarlett Johanson. She belts some note a little sharp and her jagged teeth protruded from her lips and piercing my eyes through the camera. Oh Kady...Why Why WHY did you pick such a lame ass song. I think she attempted singing like an 80's Madonna song, she would have nailed it. UG! HAVE FUN! She then ends the performance by saying "Thank you," and I'm like...no thank for stopping.

Randy points out that the song was bad for her and that out of all the songs from the 80's, this was probably the worst for her. He thought she hit the "big notes well," which she didn't. Paula said that it was her best performance so far, which isn't really a compliment considering she has sucked every single. Simon calls her a stupid robot and then Kady does a rigid little robot arm movement and it's cute and funny and like...BITCH, act personable and warm like that while you're performing. HAVE FUN! Don't be a Stepford "Carrie Underwood" Wife. Then Kady says to Ryan that she doesn't know what Simon meant about being a vapid waste of life on stage to which Ryan asks Simon to clarify, to which Simon says "I've made my point...understand it." OOOOOH! Burn. Simon isn't taking shit from anyone and I love it.

My Grade: C


Amanda Overmyer- Amanda's embarrassing moment is so much shameful or humbling as it is just fucking terrifying and dangerous: one time, she left some sort of fireplace lit on the back porch and it nearly burned down her family's entire house, all while they were asleep. Ah! Amanda! DUI, careless driving and now you're a fire starter?!?

She is going rock (duh) and singing "Hate Myself For Loving You." She comes strutting out wearing those token long-ass rocker scarves and flatter and much better hair this week. She has really great stage presence and there is no doubt that she knows how to get into the song and get the audience riled up. I actually can imagine her at a concert being entertaining and not just a soulless puppet like a lot of Idol contestants. I think she sings well and belts a nice part at the bridge, but I think that the raspy tone of her voice tends to make her pitch seem a little off. Sounds sometimes like more croaking then singing, but more or less, she did well...which is good after last week's terrible disaster.

Randy loved it and thinks that it was perfect song choice. Paula thinks she is "beautiful" and that she has found her niche that she needs to stay boxed into. Simon said it was "fantastic" to which she shyly smiles a little bit and Simon tries to coerce more emotion out of her and it's cute cuz you know she is trying to keep herself from getting all giggly and annoying, which I totally respect.

My Grade: B


Carly Smithson- What is this season's veteran's most embarrassing moment? I don't really understand it, but it has to due with her getting her leg stuck somewhere, followed by her friend coming with butter and oil and lube and slathering it over her body to get her out. Oh...and she was drunk...and a crowd of people were watching. Ew.

I realized that if all the other contestants look like they're 18-22 years old, Carly looks like she is 38. She has a much more dignified mature look to her. She is singing that "I Drove All Night" song and I think it was a wise choice...even though I am sure Simon will disagree. The peppy beat fits her and her goblin face well. She makes some chilling eye contact with the camera and is hot. The song is filled with big belting notes which are Carly's favorite flavor. She does sing the pseudo-whisper verses really well though and then she belts out like a devil from the depths of hell and it rocks.

Randy like threatens to shoot her or something. Paula calls her a "dependable dog" and that there aren't enough adjectives in the world to describe her...ug, doesn't make sense. Simon didn't think she picked the right song because (unlike Asia'h) she is a million times better than the song...which is an awesome compliment. We are then shown a shot of her mom in the audience who looks as though she is about 35. Very pretty. And Carly is the shit.

My Grade: A-


Kristy "Who?" Cook- Ok...so Kristi's embarrassing moment could very well be more disturbing than Syesha's baby voice from last week. All of her seven-year old life was embarrassing, supposedly...because...she thought she was a dog? Ok, so she used to run around on all fours barking at people. That's fine...embarrassing enough. Little kids do goofy shit like that. We don't need to hear more. But she tells us more...much more. She used to drink out of a dog bowl (um...ew) and then she had these Ratatouille mouse friends that she would carry around on her back...um...what? Ew...what? I'm really confused.

She's singing a Journey song ("Forever Yours"?), which is a very odd choice. Her hair is made out of uncooked Ramen noodles and she is wearing a hideous moomoo/kimono with a hideous print. She seems kind of nervous, but in all honesty, I think this might be her best performance so far. She gives the song a nice country twist that really works. I still think she has the weakest voice in the competition, but good for her for proving herself to be more than just a poor man's version of Brooke.

Randy loves dogs and Journey which works out to Kristi's advantage because she is a little bit of both. He pimps the fact that he worked with Journey. The camera pans out and we see that Paula is sitting in Simon's lap. Paula thinks it would be a hit on the country charts (is that hard?). Simon thinks she is forgettable which I totally understand. There are some outrageous personalities this season and they totally drown her out. He thinks, at best, she will make it into the top 10, the fated Jessica Sierra spot.

My Grade: B


Ramiele Maboobaloo- So this girl is the exact opposite of Kady. She is awesome on stage and sings well, but every time she speaks outside of singing, she sounds like she has some sort of mental deficiency...or is at ditsy teen girl, which she is. Her stupid ass embarrassment story has to do with a pink bike, and giving a boy a picture of herself and then getting laughed at. I dunno...her speaking voice is really irritating and she's not cute/endearing/funny. Just sing...please god...sing.

She is singing "Against All Odds" which I think is an absolutely amazing song. Her vocals are very smooth and she has a lot of nice jazzy runs. Aside from her David Cook hair, she looks really pretty. Okay, so she is good, if not a little boring. Halfway through the song she really gets into it and sings with great vindication. I don't have a lot to say. It's good.

Randy thinks she needs to be a little more confident and that she gets a little nervous and reserved about hitting certain notes. Paula says she has a "beautiful face" and that she is really innocent. She then says she has a lot of texture (is she fabric?). Paula starts insulting the audience and it's really really weird. She is drunk and confused and annoying. Simon says it is only because she is little & cute that she is good. "Old-fashioned" and "predictable" get thrown at her via Simon and I totally agree.

My Grade: B+


Brooke White- Her stupid story is about one time when she ran up to a man and hugged him and said she wanted dinner...but guess what! It wasn't her dad. Ug. She's a sweet girl, but she just bugs me with the organic hippie vibe she gives off.

She is singing an acoustic version of "Love Is a Battlefield." She's in the crippled position at the foot of the stage and is wearing what seems to be a jolly rancher as a ring. She sings well and she makes all the right emotional faces and bobs with the beat of the song and shakes her head at just the right time to really accentuate how introspective she is. I dunno...like I said, she is a sweet girl and she sang well, but I really am not digging this flower-child thang. Also, I think by performing this song in such a folky way she kind of killed the passion of that song.

Randy liked that it was stripped down to just a guitar, but thought she brought nothing to it. Paula thought it was a wise choice and wished she had brought the band into it. Simon thinks Paula is full of shit and that it was a great performance because it was so quiet and naked and then he says it was great. I guess it was. Ug...whatever. She's goody-two-shoes and it makes me mad!

My Grade: B+


S-YES-sha Mercado- Her embarrassing moment is basically the same as Maboobaloo with the writing a note to a boy and then he laughed at her. Blah blah.

She is singing that "Saving All My Loving" song that I kind of don't like. She looks beautiful tonight with a short skirt that shows off those legs of hers that go on forever. The performance is all that the song will let it be...which is boring and kind of like a lounge-singer. I think this is a terrible choice of song her...it's way too constricting of a song with a rigid melody that I think hinders her vocals. Every now and then she belts and she gets a little sharp and then starts yelling.

I think that the judges were bitched at for wasting so much time this episode, and the show has only like one minute left, cuz they each only give like one worded responses to her preformance. Randy: "Good. Good." Paula: "Sophisticated. Lovely." Simon: "Predictable, but good."

My Grade: B-



Safe?
- Carly Smithson for making me like her, even though she has a goblin face.
- Brooke White for being the cute innocent forest nymph of the competition.
- Ramiele Maboobaloo for singing a song that everyone sings just as good as anyone else sings it.


In Danger?
- Asia'h Epperson for attempting Celine last week and Whitney this week to only decent results.
- Kristy Lee Cook for not being that memorable.
- Kady Malloy for still being in the competition.